I have today been listening to one of my guides, Charles Eisenstein talking about innocence, intentionality and unconditional love, and I felt a real alignment with these concepts and my tantra practice and I felt moved to share these ideas with you in the hope that they provide more clarity on what tantra massage is and why I do it.
Of Innocence, Charles said that our society dehumanises us in so many ways, we are made to feel like commodities.
To reclaim a sense of innocence is to feel fully human again,
“When we treat others as full, divine human beings, it helps others to realise that knowledge within themselves”.
This is how we maintain this reality, and create the more beautiful world, for each other.
This spoke to me in terms of the tantra and counselling that I offer. My way of being has been slowly cultivated enabling me to see others through the lens of compassion, acceptance and non-judgment.
This can be very challenging to do in the outside world, and it is difficult to find others who can relate with you this way, even within our intimate relationships, which is why dedicated spaces are so valuable.
My gift is to be able to offer you a space to be heard or touched free from judgment.
This is an example of how tantra works at a soul level.
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In practice;
In my massage practice I often engage in a tantric ritual called unveiling the divine being, this involves touching either the face or the body with a divine reverence, often using music or using words of affirmation to show the receiver the reality I am seeing. But this reverence is not limited to these rituals, they highlight a level of presence and attention that is there throughout a tantra session with me.
The tantric Namaste greeting is another acknowledgment of our shared divinity.
Within the space of a tantra massage all veils and masks slip away. Often I know very little about a client’s personal life, their job, family, interests and lifestyle.
I may not know their real name.
I do not need to know.
I see them and feel them for the divine being that they are.
This is the person who I am touching. There is no question of their worthiness.
By meeting them in this place I hold the position of worthiness until they are ready to feel and step into this for themselves.
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Another example of how tantra works on a soul level is Intentionality.
I talk a lot about intentions, especially at the beginning of a connection with a new client. My training has taught me that by setting intentions we are creating the possibility of an experience. It functions as a signal to the universe that we are ready to receive this.
I suspect that many of my client’s have wondered whether an unconscious motivation of mine, in asking for an explicit intention, is so that I have a way of differentiating clients in terms of their level of consciousness or worthiness. In fact this is not my purpose and listening to Charles today consolidated this for me.
For a proportion of my clients their intention is something along the lines of relaxation, to let go, to have some 'me time'. I feel the honesty in this and am happy to offer touch on this basis. As the majority of my clients are men, I am honoured to serve this deep need in men for a space where they can disarm, disrobe and let the weight of their responsibilities fall away. I am honoured to provide a space where they can enjoy sensual touch and connect with their emotions, where they do not need to man up, be strong and stifle their emotions.
Another proportion of my clients may write several paragraphs about their intention, describing several patterns they wish to change, things they want to learn and how they would like their life to be different. Intentions often go along the lines of; to learn to love myself and others, to be open to receiving pleasure, to know what I like and to be able to ask for it.
This level of consciousness is exciting to me in a different way, it speaks to my journey as a spiritual seeker and I like to offer exercises and touch in service of these intentions.
The clearer you can be about your intention, the better I can serve your needs.
The problem lies in our hidden intentions. The things we are too ashamed to admit, either to ourselves or others for fear of rejection.
Charles said that usually a wound hides our true intention and we hide this from ourselves to maintain an image of ourselves as good / worthy / lovable / acceptable…..insert word here…..
In his video on The Sanity Project, Charles said the antidote to hidden intentions is unconditional love.
“Any time you are touched by unconditional love it helps to clear the fog that hides the true intention…. You cannot do this alone. Unconditional love happens by example. This teaches us how to do it for ourselves.”
This is another example of how tantra and counselling work on a soul level. By offering my clients unconditional positive regard and non-judgment, I hope that you will begin to see yourselves with greater compassion and acceptance for what is true and who you really are.
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In practice;
I imagine there are many clients who think they need to say the right things to me to get through my onboarding process.
But if you hide your true intention I will not be able to serve it.
My invitation to you is to be as honest as you feel able to at the outset.
Know that I will keep checking in with you about your intention and I encourage you to keep reflecting on it and sharing with me if anything changes.
I hope that your hidden intentions will come to light, as this is an indication not only that you have perceived my unconditional love for you, but that you are being more honest with yourself and understanding yourself more. All these are things to celebrate!