top of page

How to use Self-Pleasure to Manifest your ideal lover

What is your current self-pleasure practice like?

Not how would you like it to be... but how is it in the here and now?

Does it follow a pattern?

As with all patterns they are usually created by our past experiences.

Notice if there are similarities with your sex life in the past.

Taking the time to self-pleasure consciously and break existing patterns is an investment in your future sex life.

I confess, I am an advocate of the law of attraction, I believe that we all have the power to manifest our reality. I have been working with this for several years now and I believe I am getting better at it! I have attended some sex magic rituals and enjoy using vision boards to help me visualize what I want and send the energy of this out to the universe, and it has worked, to a degree!

But if we really want to be a match for the kind of lover we want to manifest, we need to be that kind of lover to ourself. This is the ‘Action’ step.

We can consciously use our self-pleasure practice to create the future sex life we want.

Allow me to elaborate…

If you only self-pleasure ‘when you have time’, (and I am not unfamiliar with this pattern – so no judgment here), I believe that you are creating the story that sex is less of a priority than other tasks or responsibilities in your life. It is something to fit in around other tasks. If this is your self-pleasure pattern, your future sex life is likely to follow this pattern.

What kind of lover do you want?

I want a partner with whom I have a great sex life, with regular and frequent sex, with whom I can switch up the dynamics for variety, someone who is spontaneous and loves me with wild abandon. Someone who is willing to follow the energy of arousal even especially if it means spoiling the dinner they have spent hours cooking.

How do you love yourself?

If I only pleasure myself infrequently and on an irregular basis, always doing it the same way, in the same position, with the same movements or toys, can you see how I would not be an energetic match for the kind of lover I want to manifest.

On the other hand, I could consciously align my self-pleasure practice with the future sex life I want by giving myself permission to pleasure myself whenever I feel the urge, whatever time of day and wherever I am (within reason!) I could try doing it in a different room, looking at a different surroundings, sitting, standing but always making pleasure a priority.

This is how I become a vibrational match for the experience I am hoping to manifest.

In my client practice:

I hope this post has given you some ideas to mix things up a little.

Sometimes we all need a little push to get out of a rut and expand our experience.

If you are carrying shame about masturbation and would like to feel the presence of a loving heart to help you release old conditioning, I can offer you masturbation witnessing either virtually or online.

If you would like to bring more accountability to your self-pleasure practice, to give yourself permission to put the time aside, to do things a little differently and inject some new energy and connection into your practice, virtual tantra sessions may be just what you need.


bottom of page