Energy shields and Coherence ~ A glimpse inside the mystery of tantra.
There is a pervasive view in the mainstream society that tantra is about sex and that tantra massage is massage where you can be naked, the practitioner may also be naked and you are typically stimulated to a climax, or ‘happy ending’.
If you live in that reality, this may be true for you. There are practitioners who offer tantra massage and work in this way. They are catering for a real need in the marketplace where clients are predominantly male. Men often seek out this type of ‘tantra massage’ if their ability to feel touch and sexual expression is limited by circumstances.
I live and work in a different reality.
I have explored tantra as a means of opening up healing channels in the body.
As Bessel Van Der Kolk explores in his book ~ The Body Keeps the Score, the body is a repository for our life’s experiences.
When I came to tantra, my body was rigid and holding on to a huge amount of stuff from past interactions and experiences. My inflow and outflow were out of balance, I struggled to let go of things, which overtime created overload in my entire system. If we look at ourselves through the lens of the 5 domains, what happens to one is simultaneously happening in the others, so my rigid body was symptomatic of my rigid mind, which was also concurrent with a closed heart. In this state my connection to spirit was heavily impeded as I struggled to make sense of life. I was disregulated, disorientated and out of touch with myself.
My system longed for coherence.
In the first few years of exploring tantra I found windows of coherence by attending workshops. My system enjoyed the calm structure of set roles, set timings and space for all voices to be heard. I relaxed into being able to give and receive touch. Being in close connection to others who were in this state of relaxation was supportive and we somehow spiralled together creating coherence together where none existed before.
Creating Coherence ~ The Body as Conductor
What do I mean by Coherence ~ Literally alignment. A state of harmony and balance in the body (and all your domains).
Imagine the cells of our body have a magnetic frequency and are influenced by electromagnetic fields outside of ourselves. You might like to imagine them as a pile of metal filings.
A lot of external input that we are exposed to is what is called ‘disregulating’. This could be anytihing from radio waves, wifi or 5G to interactions with people or triggering situations when driving or shopping that cause us to go into a trauma response like fight or flight. The impact of this input is to scatter our cells into a chaotic configuration. This feels uncomfortable.
Some external input is what is called ‘regulating’. A hug, a warm bath, a massage, a weighted blanket. The impact of this input is to bring our cells into harmonious alignment…which feels really good.
Coherence is Infectious! As well as being super reactive to external input, our magnetic cells also react to the coherence of others. Being close to someone who is in a coherent state themselves literally does rub off on you, as your cells move into greater alignment. This is what is called co-regulation. There is an exchange of charge.
We can create a type of shield around us that allows less input in, and at times this is needed to a greater or lesser extent. Part of my daily practice includes
creating an energetic or spiritual shield around myself with the power of visualisation and intention. (There are some wonderful mediations on how to do this on Insight Timer. I particularly like the ones by Jerri Doran.)
I have found it useful at times when I am healing a deep layer of trauma, to put a stronger shield in place in the physical domain to minimise external input. For me this looks like disconnecting from social media and whats app, minimising social activity and phone calls with friends, and increasing the amount of self-regulating activities I enjoy, such as painting and walking in nature.
The key thing I am learning is to understand what situations need a stronger shield and being able to add or remove them more fluidly so that I am not permanently walking round with a helmet and gas mask on (metaphorically speaking).
As humans, we all desire love and connection, but for some, who have been harmed by relationships it can feel safer to remain closed, to hibernate and stay alone. For others, social interactions can be intensley disregulating, resulting in a sensation like a hang-over that can last for several days.
I am finding it helpful to keep a journal about what situations I enjoy and which are uncomfortable. This increases my awareness of what I can do to support myself in future, situations I may choose to avoid in future, or may choose to do differently. Adapting a fluid approach and being able to react according to the reality of each situation helps us to move out of perpetual avoidance and towards an acceptance of what is true for me in this moment.
Fundamentally tantra massage is about connecting with another human being, in a therapeutic setting, where the healing is not limited to the concepts and methods that the human mind can conceive of. Spirit is consciously welcomed into the space too, and I (and perhaps you) become a channel for healing to take place far beyond what either of our conscious minds could initiate.
This is multi-dimentional healing.
In practice,
As a tantra practitioner I spend a lot of my time on practices and activities that regulate my system. I dedicate my time off to doing things that will enhance my energetic frequency rather than diminishing it. This ensures that I am coherent enough to be able to influence my clients’ state and induce this co-regulation.
I spend a lot of time alone, which enhances my electromagnetic field and authenticity. (See Joe Dispenza’s video - When women live alone.)
Before and after each client session I create and discreate the space in a shamanic way, calling in the energies and spirits that I wish to support us. This is a deeply personal practice and for this reason I prefer you to wait outside my space until I call you in.
After a session with a client I may have been influenced by their energy, and so I often take conscious action to increase the coherence level within my body. I do this by any number of activities that I find relaxing or soothing. Sometimes I might need to dance or shake off the stuff I have taken on, sometimes I need to go for a walk outdoors and sometimes I need to sleep.
My life is dedicated to living in alignment with spirit. It is through this way of being, that I may heal my own emotional wounds, soothe my own nervous system, live my most authentic life and manifest my hearts desires. And it is this very way of being that enables me to be of service to my clients.