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Explore your Shadow...

A foundation in consent and boundaries for those daring to

explore the world of BDSM.

What makes Kink Conscious?


In a word... 

Self -awareness

It is my belief that consciousness is what makes kink safe. If we know ourselves, our boundaries and limits and are able to communicate them in the moment, we can engage with others in a way that can be empowering and life affirming.


use the Wheel of Consent to bring awareness to the dynamics in all exchanges.


By separating out the giving from receiving, the doing from non-doing, we can explore the specifics of what makes touch feel safe for you, what you like and what you don't, and

what gives you the most pleasure.

We will explore energy and learn to consciously create and discreate it.

There may be a dynamic that feels challenging for you.

Or something you wish to consciously explore before broaching it with your partner,

and without the risk of experimenting with a stranger.

Using the Wheel of Consent and tantra massage practices I can support you to explore your boundaries, practice communicating your needs and desires and ultimately,

Learn who you truly are and what you want and need from a partner,

So you can feel brave enough to 

go out there and ask for it!


The Healing Power of Kink

By consciously stepping into a role, you are giving yourself permission to act a certain way that may be quite the opposite from how you act in every day life.

I believe that taking on the role of Dom or Sub helps us to circumnavigate our defences, limiting beliefs and conditioning and find a pathway to express that which we have repressed.

My Story

I have always been described as a shy, quiet person, very amenable, a typical 'good girl'.

But this isn't the real me and on my journey towards greater authenticity I reached a point where I wanted to rebel. But my conditioning was so strong that despite working on my confidence and assertiveness I still struggled to find my voice. 

Unless I had explicit permission.

Inhabiting the role of a Dom gave me that permission.

Playing this part enabled me to express some of the anger I had been repressing for so long.

I found my voice.


I became Bossy.


I wouldn't take any s**t.

It felt like discovering a release valve.

Playing with this energy with consciousness gave me a sense of what was possible.

Through the alter-ego I created, I felt myself as a confident and assertive woman. 

Then began the process of integration of this energy so that there were no longer two beings,

They had become one.


They were me.

This is how I experienced BDSM as a Path of Healing and Transformation

How can it help you?

Perhaps you too struggle to speak up for yourself,

You long to feel seen, heard and respected.

Maybe Control is your medicine.

Perhaps you have a lot of responsibilities and a demanding job,

You long to get out of your head, to let it all fall away, to relax.

Maybe Surrender is your medicine.



Intentions are a key part of tantra and are a key tool in maintaining the integrity and transparency of the therapeutic process.

Intentions are varied and deeply personal. Yours could be to;

Feel safe enough to fully Surrender

Learn communication tools to take into kinky role-plays

Learn how to create safety for myself and my partner

Practice being Bossy

Find out if I am truly a Sub, Dom or Switch

Have the Courage to Realise the Energy Treasure
held in your Shadow 

John Hawken
Realizations on the Paths of Transformation

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Ready to get Kinky?

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